


Hit Me With Your Breast Shot

by FrenchRoast



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 01:18:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5397485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchRoast/pseuds/FrenchRoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Belle's breasts have grown so large that they threaten the existence of all Storybrooke, Belle and Regina face off in the final battle that Rumple predicted all along, though it's not exactly what anyone expected from what used to be a family friendly show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit Me With Your Breast Shot

**Author's Note:**

> Written b/c I couldn't help myself after responding to the boob troll.
> 
> ***This story won the 2016 TEA award for Best Crack Fic***

"You don't have to do this, Belle. We can find another way, I'm sure of it. I am the Dark One, after all. I have the power of all of the Dark Ones," Rumple said from his spot underneath Belle's enormous bosoms. It was rather dark, but comforting, like being in the womb or in a soft warm cocoon.

"No, Rumple," Belle said sharply.  "We've let Regina's cleavage reign for far too long, and now that I'm about to bring a child into this world, I can't sit idly by. It was bad enough that we stood by and let her hooters destroy Charming and Snow, even if she claimed it was an accident. She has Robin and Emma under the thrall of her boobage." Belle shuddered as she remembered seeing her friend and the Saviour succumb to the ecstasies of Regina's magically enlarged chest. No one had seen them since. Mostly because a quarter of Storybrooke was now covered by the twin mounds attached to Regina's front. "We can't let Henry be trapped in this hell."

"But you've never gone up against Regina, my dear. I don't want you to be hurt. I saw the future, I saw that there would be a final battle, but Belle, I never saw what happened. I never saw who won." _And,_ Rumple thought to himself, _I sure as hell didn't see that it was going to be a battle where two women used the power of their breasts to fight one another. I really feel like that was a key component that should've showed up in those visions._

"These breasts were made for more than milking, Rumple. They will be my sword and my shield." Belle stepped forth from her spot between the library and the pawnshop; her cleavage had already swallowed a portion of the town that Regina's had not. Unlike Regina, however, Belle was providing respite to those covered by her breasts. Rumple had used his magic to create a constant airflow so that no one would suffocate. Though he considered cutting off Dr. Whale's supply. The doctor was enjoying the situation far too much.  "It's my turn to be brave," she said calmly. "REGINA!" she shouted, calling out the Evil Queen. "Face me!"

There was a puff of purple smoke, and then there she was--the Evil Queen, her wondrously curved mammary glands on full display as they crushed the chairs in front of Granny's diner. The nipples had black spikes attached, the better to skewer the lesser-endowed. "Are you sure you can handle me, Belle? You're no Evil Queen, and I know Rumple can't help you from under there."

"I have twice the heart you've ever had, Regina, and twice the breast to keep it in!" Belle declared. She swung her left teat towards Regina, who tried to block with her own corresponding jugs, but a nipple spike was stuck in the fence next to Granny's, and she was unable to block the onslaught. Too late, she slipped her nipple free, and Regina felt the full force of Belle's Humpty Dumplings. She fell to the ground.

"Regina, I will keep fighting you until you give up these ridiculous knockers. No one needs boobs this big!"

"You're wrong, Belle. And even if I wanted to give them up...I can't. I used the last of my magic to enlarge and enchant them," Regina said from her spot on the ground. She stood up and began to tuck her tits back into her clothes. "But look. Look into my cleavage. Isn't it nice?"

Belle started to look. Regina _did_ have great cleavage. It was kind of amazing that it fit into her corset when she wasn't using it as a weapon.

"Belle, don't listen to her! It's a trick!" Rumple shouted from Belle's own yabbos.  It was just enough to jolt Belle from Regina's enchantment.

"Oh no you don't, Regina," she said, stepping back from the Evil Queen's bazoogas.  "I'm not letting you turn this town into Storyboob," Belle declared. From the safety of their cover behind Belle's Grand Tetons, Whale, Leroy, Mulan, and several other Storybrooke residents cheered her on.

Regina began to back up, but it was too late; Belle pulled both of her chest puppies back, then, with super-sonic speed, crushed Regina between them. The resulting motorboat-like vibrations shook Regina senseless, and effectively shook all of her magic abilities out of her; Regina's cleavage returned to a more normal size. As the black nipple spikes fell off because they no longer fit, both Emma and Robin crawled out from under her, still somewhat dazed. The size of Belle's boobs remained the same, but now that no one needed to hide from Regina, a number of people spilled forth from her bosom, including Rumple.

"You did it, Belle! You saved the town! You're a true hero!" Rumple cried, joyful and relieved.

From inside the diner, Henry punched "Simply the Best" on the Jukebox, and as an ambulance came to take Regina to the hospital, the remaining town residents began an impromptu singalong, with a slight word change: "You're simply the breast!" they all sang.


End file.
